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April 30, 2005
Whoo Hoo!
4 more pounds this week! That takes me to a grand total of 21 pounds lost.
Onward and downward.
Posted by La at 12:21 PM | Comments (0)The the wake of Bennifer
We now Brangelina. Good Lord! Why Do I read this stuff?
Posted by La at 7:07 AM | Comments (0)April 29, 2005
Am I looking for a pot of Gold?
Will I look good when I've gotten old?
Any day that starts with Once More With Feeling, can't be all bad right? I turned on the TV and there is was.
Yesterday was Bring Your Child To Work Day. I had to entertain 10 kids for 40 minutes (whild talking about marketing with a international theme!) and then repeat with a different set of 15 kids. All this made me realize, teaching wasn't for me! My stress level went right through the roof, though I think I handled them well adnd kept my stress reaction to myself. I got kudos from my co-worker who (thank God!) helped out. By lunch time I was really glad that was over.
Today has been fine. I am rather displeased by the weather forcast, which is forcing me to switch my gardening plans around. So tomorrow after my weigh in I am going to work in the inside of the house. Then Sunday I am going to work some miracles in the front yard. I can't wait to look respectable again!
Tonight we are going to see Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Flounder is BEYOND excited.
Posted by La at 10:30 AM | Comments (0)April 27, 2005
Under Pressure
The office is a very stressful environment today and I am at my wits end. I did go for a walk over lunch and that did help to take the edge off, but all the same, I am feeling the tension in the air. I want OUT!
Posted by La at 1:35 PM | Comments (0)April 26, 2005
Get Moving
I am going to walk at lunch time with Mi Mama today. We did the same yesterday. Two days does not a habit make, but it's a start right. Talking yesterday to
April 25, 2005
Amazing Truth
The only real news I have to share comes from my weigh in Saturday Morning. In the 10 day time frame, I lost 12 pounds for a grand total of 17. In edition to my engagement ring getting to big, my clothes are feeling bigger as well. I also have a pair of pants (one full size smaller) that I can now zip up, even if they are still far to tight to wear. So Yippee!
We made some plans for the summer, including a trip to visit my Godmother in June and 2 concerts. All of which I am looking forward too.
It was great to get together with friends at
I am really tired this morning for reasons unknown. I am going to guzzle some water, take a walk at lunch time with Mi Mama and hope for the best. Maybe get some extra sleep tonight.
Quote of the Day:
O sleep, O gentle sleep,
Nature’s soft nurse, how have I frighted thee,
That thou no more wilt weigh my eye-lids down
And steep my senses in forgetfulness?
William Shakespeare
Posted by La at 9:10 AM | Comments (0)April 21, 2005
Touch Stone
As I am wrapping up week 2 of the weight management program, I have my first tangible sign of my weight loss. My engagment ring is loose again. When I first got the ring it was a little loose, and after a lost 12 pounds with Weight Watchers, it was even more loose. And now, Hurrah! It is loose again. The next tangible goal I am shooting for is fitting back into the pants I could wear (one size smaller) when I first met
Balancing Act
How do you balance what you believe is best for you and what you believe is best for society? This was the topic of discussion on the way into work today. I personally have a difficult time not judging those who make choices I deem not in the public interest. My perfect example would be people who drive Hummers. I believe using a Hummer as a street car (to run your errands and commute to work) is excessive and not in the intrest of the public good. It guzzles gas, puts additional strain on the road*, and if in an accident with a smaller vehical the passangers of that small car would never have a chance. In my mind, Hummers do have their place, like saving people in the wilderness or on the war field, or even transporting the sick to hospital in snow bound conditions. I recognize that this issue is really relative. I find the street use of a Hummer irresponsible. Some one else might think that commuting 60 miles per day, half by car is irresponsible. When I make big choices (where to live, large purchases...) I do try to give thought to whether or not my choice will make others lives more difficult. This is a challenge though. What criteria do you use? Where do you draw the line? How can one respect others free will and right to make their own decisions and still hold them to the standard you hold yourself?
As you can see I have more questions than I have answers here. Anyone with thoughts on this, I would like to here them.
*I don't know if that is really true, but is seems true
Posted by La at 10:24 AM | Comments (0)April 20, 2005
Blog it
In the grand scheme of the blogosphere, I really don't read very many. Most just those my friends write and one or two on diet and health. The blurb below is from on of the diet blogs. The author has lost 160 pounds and fights to keep it off (most) everyday, and she is still losing! Totally my hero. Anyway the quotation is clearly about weight loss, but I think the same principal can be applied to any long-term goal.
"I get emails from people asking how do you do it, what's your secret? There's no bloody secret, except just concerted effort over time. Being persistent and determined. It's like most things in life. Take Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses, they go knocking on doors every weekend trying to spread the good word. They must get told to piss off a dozen times a day! But they give up? Nooo. So be like that about your fat. It may tell you to go away, I'm sleeping in, but just keep nagging and annoying it until it finally screams, "Fine! Alright!" and surrenders to your will."
Quoted From: http://www.dietgirl.org/
This weekend has become jam-packed in the blink of an eye. The Storybook Parents are swinging though town on their way home from Williamsburg, so we will be having lunch (I will be watching lunch) Saturday around noon. Let me say that the SPs didn't want to taunt we with food I couldn't eat, but seriously, what else are we going to do? So lunch it is. That evening we will be heading down to
Quote of the Day: See Above :)
Posted by La at 1:06 PM | Comments (0)April 19, 2005
The Garden of Good and Evil
Good news in the world of Poppy Girl and der_flounder. Though the process of refinancing our mortgage we have discovered that our home has gone up singificantly in value. There are pluses and minuses here
of course. Higher property taxes will be a big minus. However, should the going get
rough down the road, we can feel confident that at least "we can always sell the house"
and that is reassuring. We are just fine, don't get me wrong. But it's a nice safety net.
This morning while leavig the house I finally admitted to myself that we have got to
do something about the front yard. It's over grown in bad way. There are crazy plants
all over the place that neither Flounder nor I planted. It's just bad. This Sunday is going
to be known as the day we "Took Back the Yard"! the bach yard is just as bad, mind
you, but know one sees it. We will start with the front. We have a Rep to protect.
Quote of the Day:
I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than of cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs.
April 18, 2005
Back from NOLA
I actually came back late Saturday night, but does it really matter? I spent yesterday on the couch, just sort of existing and flipping through the channels. I slept a collective 13 hours yesterday, plus another 8 last night, so I am back up to speed after a draining weekend.
New Orleans is an interesting city of contrasts. How such beautiful buildings, and such ugly architecture can live side by side in apparent harmony is beyond me. When after our evening meals broke up (usually around 10:00 pm) I went back to the hotel, most of my intrepid co-works partied, gambled and generally worked themselves into a nice hang-over for the next morning. Fine for them, but not my style. The actual retreat portion of our days were productive and it was really great to put a face to all my new colleagues, especially those west coast folks.
Yes, I came home with beads. No, I didn't flash anyone. And no I didn't break my diet. Not ONCE. I was actually really really pleased with the response I got regarding the weight management program. Needless to say, there was no point in trying to keep the plan a secret since we were surrounded by food at all times. It's amazing what you find out about those around you, when you are willing to make yourself a little vulnerable. It was a challenge, but I made it through with flying colors!
This week, I am making a ccommitment to walk at least 30 minutes each day.
Quote of the Day:
Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.
April 13, 2005
The Reward
Today was my first weigh in with the FMH program and I am happy to report that I lost 5 pounds. I feel like I really earned those pounds. The priority for this coming week is going to be getting some exercise. My energy is back since my body realized it could process the fat stores I have been hording.
It was good to see the people who joined the program the same time I did last week. I am a little sad that we will all start going to the meeting that best meets our schedule (for me that will be Saturday Morning). The people I have met so far have been great. Today the meeting was led by D the Behaviorist. We sort of did an overview of how our believes and preconception (rational and irrational) effect our choices, we also generally discussed what we had found challenging about the program the first week. I was super honest and felt comfortable.
So far I really perfer D to the other Behaviorist I met last week. I got an awkward, cold feeling from her. I hope I warm to her! The meetings cycle between being led by a behaviorist, exercise physiologist and nutritionist. Considering how long it will take me to get to a healthy weight, I think I should get a firm grounding for the maintenance phase by the time I get there, which gives me hope.
Tomorrow I am off to New Orleans for a work team retreat. I have never been there before and I am looking forward to staying in a nice hotel and checking out a new city. I am not looking forward to having to watch everyone else eat 3 times a day while I chug my shake. But that is the choice I made and now I have to live with it.
I am not taking the laptop with me on the trip so there will be a little radio silence from me until Sunday. I may post an entry tomorrow before I leave though.
Posted by La at 10:11 PM | Comments (0)Frenaissance
I talked to
FLASHBACK
In high school I worked as hard as I could to stay in the center of my friends lives. I didn't realize it until later, but I found security and confidence in knowing as much about the people that mattered to me as I possibly could. So I memorized birthdays, telephone number, dress sizes and sibilings ages. Then I delved, trying to get to the root of who they were. Some over the years felt overanalyzed, some withdrew and others just took it for what it was, love. As I have gotten more self confidence, learned more about myself, and realized I didn't need to breath the same air as my friends to make sure they know how important they are, I guess the distance has grown a bit more than I would have liked.
I think I feel a Frenaissance coming on!
Posted by La at 10:16 AM | Comments (0)
April 12, 2005
Stress
Yesterday was very stressful for several reasons I won't go into here. What I realized through my extremely crappy day is that outside of food, I have no mechanism for dealing with stress. Firstly, stress is such a strange and varied animal. One persons tense work environment is another persons haven. I really hadn't thought about stress much through the years. I recognized that when I was "stressed" I sometime get tense shoulders muscles or canker sores in my mouth. Usually those came at moments of high anxiety, before a performance or when I was working toward a tight deadline that was sneaking up on me. As for day to day stresses? I hadn't really ever though about ways to deal with it because I had a (subconsciously of course) full proof answer, eating. It's relaxing and distracting. It's social and entertaining. It's food and it's perfect! Except that it makes me fat and unhealthy. Now, nearly everyone experiences emotional eating. There is nothing wrong with it per say. But again, it's all relative. Is eating in general your way of "dealing". Probably not. But it is mine. So yesterday was very tough. I didn't give in amazingly. But I also did find the long bath I took as an alternative to eating all that effective either. IF anyone has any ideas I am happy to hear them. In the meantime I am on the hunt for stress relievers and strategies for dealing.
Posted by La at 10:25 AM | Comments (0)April 10, 2005
800 Calories, Day 4
Yesterday it got a little easier. Not easy mind you, but better. The first two days were killer. I was soooo hungrey. I really think this may have been the first time I really knew what actual hunger was. Not short-term-missed-lunch hunger, but legit, I think I might die hunger. I have been drinking lots of water. And trying to distract myself. I really didn't realize how my life was structured around food. Every social interaction, every Friday evening, weekend morning is all about what we are going to eat and when. It seems to me to be a little sad, but also a little normal. You need to plan to eat. Eating keeps you alive. However, I think it's when eating becomes your hobby, that's when you have problems. Or at least when I have problems. So where does that take me? I need to find a different hobby.
Posted by La at 9:55 AM | Comments (0)April 8, 2005
Another Day, Another Duty
Today I have been called in for Jury Duty. I am not very excited to do my duty. However, the prospect of perhaps going home early cheers me a little. I guess I better go have a shake.
Rest in Peace John Paul
April 7, 2005
The long and winding road...
It has begun, and I am starving. For the next several months I will be eating no food and subsisting on nutrional supplements. They tell me that after 3-4 days I will stop being hungery and the supplements will feel like enough food. First of all it is really hard to imagine EVER thinking that 800 calories worth of anything is enough food. Regardless, I really hope it's true, because a week from today I will be in New Orleans and really hating life if am in need of more calories. None of this however is to be confused with emotional or stress induced hunger. We haven't even begun to deal with that yet. *sigh*
So lets distract ourselves, shall we? How about a list of things to be happy about that have nothing to do with food or the wedding.
*Cherry Blossoms - I LOVE these fragrant blooms, they make my trip to work this time of year far more pleasent
*Permanent Markers - Where would we be without the sharpis?
*Having a Clean Car - At this point I just aspire to have a clean car, but we will fix that this weekend
*The Satisfaction of Marking a Task Off Your List - I wished I had learned this joy earlier in my life.
*Coming Home to an Empty Sink - I hate doing dishes!
Quote of the Day:
We don't know who we are until we see what we can do.
April 6, 2005
This Just In!
On my way to lunch a few hours ago I saw this guy eating a salad infront of my building:
George Stephanopoulos!!!
Yeah, this is DC, so it's not that exciting, but a fun part of my day.
Posted by La at 3:12 PM | Comments (0)News Round Up
Yay!
Yay Yay Yay!
Our meeting Monday with the photographer was fantastic. She was sweet and genuine and the sort of person you want hanging around at your wedding. And even better, she is new to the area and is currently boasting rock-bottom pricing while she is building a rep in the DC area. Whoo Hoo!
The doctor looked over my x-ray yesterday, and it looks like I passed the stone and there don't appear to be any more in my system. That's the good news. He is not exactly sure why my side is still sore. For the moment we are chalking it up to residual inflamation from the stone and I will be going back in a month for a follow-up (sooner if the irratation gets worse).
Last night I went to the orientation for the weight management program at the FMH Wellness Center (here after to be called FMH). I liked what they had to say and signed up. What does this mean? I won't be eating any actual food (just protien and nutrition supplements) for the next 40-45 weeks. The progam is designed to help you quickly and safely lose weight in a medically controled manor and then teach you how to change the way you approach food. The really valuable part of the program is the maintenance program you enter after you lose the weight. It's designed to support and reeducate. I think of the process as food rehab. :) I will be sending an email to some friends today to ask them for their support through this process. These are folks who have watched me attempt to lose weight on and off for years, and ultimately only gain more. 140 pounds is a lot to lose, but I am determined to do it. And make the necessary changes to keep it off.
The past few days have been entirely beautiful and today will be the same. 80 degrees for goodness sake! Bring it on.
Quote of the Day:
There is nothing like dream to create the future. Utopia to-day, flesh and blood tomorrow.
April 4, 2005
Beautiful Day
Today is shaping up to be a real beauty! Clear skies after two rainy overcast days are most welcome. Topping out at 68 degrees, will be happy to run a few arrands at lunch that will get me out in the spring air.
This weekend we went to check out the wedding site and I am quite pleased with it. There was a bridal show being held at the site which made it feel far too crowded. I was acutally really suprised how bad some of these people were at selling their products and services. They ranged from rushy and rude to sullen and boring. One wedding cake baker inparticular got on my bad side very quickly. Firstly her cakes were beautiful and the samples we tried were very yummy. When we asked if she did cupcakes, she said she did and then proceeded to try to explain why it was a bad idea to only serve cupcakes! Doesn't she know you never tell a perspective customer why their idea (which plenty of other vendors are happy to work with) is bad. Stupid woman. I don't think I am conveying well how odd the whole thing was. Needless to say we won't be working with her.
Tonight was have a photographer we are interested in coming over to the house. I am looking forward to seeing more of her work. Personality is everything sometimes, so I hope we gel.
Tomorrow I have a followup with the urologist (which is good because my side has been sore the last few days) and then going to Frederick Memorial Hospital in the evening to check out their program. Fingers crossed on both counts.
Quote of the Day:
Don't waste yourself in rejection, nor bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Posted by La at 9:50 AM | Comments (0)April 1, 2005
I am one of them!
Springing
On my way to work this morning, I really started to notice spring taking hold. It started with the one blooming daphadil in our flowerbed. Generally speaking, our front yards is a discrase of weeds and debere left by the neighborhood children. Anyway, the single yellow bloom really perks the sad flowerbed right up! Driving the the metro, I started to notice the bright green baby leaves dotting the trees. And as I walked from the metro to my office, the corner garden is really starting to take shape with early red and yellow striped striped tulips, white and purple crocuses, and yellow dahlias. Spring is in the air.
Since all of my challenges seem to be indoor in nature (food, planning, money, work) I have decided I should try to find my joy outdoors. I will have to take it where I can get it, since the weekend is looking rather rain soaked. The rain will be a good reason to work on the house this weekend. We have a potential photographer coming over to meet with us on Monday, and I would like to put our best foot forward. Perhaps I will even paint over the spackled spots in the living room. But don't get you hopes up.
The orientation for the wieght management program at GW yesterday, was interesting, but really drove home how hella' expensive it is. No decisions yet, I am waiting to see what Frederick Memorial has to offer.
Happy Friday!
Posted by La at 10:16 AM | Comments (0)