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May 31, 2005
Keep On The Sunny Side
On Sunday Flounder and I went to try out St. Mark's Presbyterian. We were both really pleased with the general feeling we got from the place. The people were kind and welcoming without being pushy or overly eager. The minister giving the sermon on Sunday was visiting and not the regular pastor of the church. I think we are both looking forward to hearing the regular pastor speak. So far so good.
I am happy to say that there has been lots of forward motion today, on both the work and the wedding fronts. As for work, I have an interview on Thursday I am very optimistic about. With the wedding, we have nailed down a new location, The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek. But the date is still in question. We are still sticking with Memorial Day weekend 2006, but which day? That is the mystery.
Quote for the Day:
The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)
May 29, 2005
For Better or For Worse
Oh Lord, here we go again. Sometimes I think I might drive the people who love me most absolutly insane before we get through this wedding.
Flounder and I are talking about moving the wedding/reception location. And maybe the date too. I know. I know. I just realized we could probably have a great wedding for less money than we were going to have to spend at the current location. The date change would only be as a result of the location change. And on it goes.
I will spare you the details and the mayhem and just give an update when we settle on something.
Quote of the Day:
We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
-Sir Winston Churchill
May 28, 2005
Check In
2 more pounds! That's 31 down.
Posted by La at 10:45 AM | Comments (0)May 27, 2005
Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Time*
"Forget the sh*t. The sh*t doesn't matter. Focus on the good stuff."
This was the advice the great sage Mi Mama imparted yesterday. It fell on deaf ears. Flounder will attest (as will anyone else who crossed my path) that I was almost beyond cheering. Flounder was cool as a cucumber while I was losing my head. My frantic little brain was full of negative what ifs.
Today I am working on a Zen like calm. No reason to freak over that which you can't control. Am I moving forward? Yes. Am I facing reality instead of hiding from the truth? Yes. Am I taking control of those things I can influence? Yes. There isn't more I can do is there? I didn't think so either.
Yesterday I didn't even find solace in the idea of a long weekend. That is the sign of a troubled mind. Today it looks like a beautiful oasis stretching before me.
*I'm so punny!
May 25, 2005
Sell, Sell, Sell
Job hunting is demoralizing. I wish I felt more secure in my current position. I would just wait the boredom out while getting through the wedding and starting school back up. Alas I just can't be confident that the sand won't shift under my feet where I am presently.
Looking for a new job really bring out my worst insecurities. Just thinking about it makes my palms sweat. I must preserve.
Quote of the Day:
"One should never criticize his own work except in a fresh and hopeful mood. The self-criticism of a tired mind is suicide."
-Charles Horton Cooley
May 24, 2005
Pageturners
Books I am looking forward to reading:
A History of God: The 4,000-Year Quest of Judaism, Christianity and Islam by Karen Armstrong
The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman
Salt: A World History by Mark Kurlansky
The Big Over Easy by Jasper Fforde
New Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton
The Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling
Going to the Chapel
Flounder and I have made plans for Sunday. We are going to church. This will mark the first time we will be attending a church together that isn't the church of his childhood. We are going to check out St. Mark's Presbyterian. It's a pretty church we have passed on the road a million times. We have been threatening to go church shopping for a long time and are finally taking the plunge. Fingers Crossed.
Quote for the Day:
"God is in the details."
-Mies van der Rohe
May 23, 2005
Behind the Dashboard
I live in a Apple household. I have had a love for the Macintosh computer since I first started working with them in 1997. It was just dumb luck that I fell in love with a Mac Technician with a serious love for Apple. There are pluses and minuses to Flounder's passion for his career. On one hand, his work is also his hobby, so I never have computer problems for long. On the other hand, he takes his responsibilities seriously, and won't hesitate to drive into the office in a Sunday morning to restart a server.
This said you won't be in the least surprised that most of our machines at home (there are 4, plus Flounder's work laptop) are running current versions of Mac OS 10.4. 10.3 and 10.4 are not really very different, except for a few new services like Dashboard.
For those of you who have a Mac, OS 10.4 is worth the upgrade just for Dashboard. As the Apple website describes it, "Dashboard is home to widgets: mini-applications that let you perform common tasks and provide you with fast access to information. With a single click, Dashboard appears, complete with widgets that bring you a world of information — real-time weather, stock tickers, flight information and more — instantly. Dashboard disappears just as easily, so you can get back to what you were doing."
This is a feature I wish I had on the PC I use at work. If only I could always work on a Mac...ah, the sweet dream.
May 22, 2005
Little Earthquakes
I had a little triumph today. The pants that I couldn't zip 6 weeks ago, now fit nicely. This is especially rewarding since they are spring weight chinos. Fitting just in time.
I have been fat a long time and have observed some unexpected things about being overweight. For instance, a woman on a healthy weight (hence forth to be called WHW) can wear an outfit and look lovely and put together. A fat woman (the fatter you are the more true this is I believe) can where an identical outfit in her own size and look disheveled and sloppy. The fat woman also has a harder time pulling off a subtle sexy look without going down the path of looking a tart.
Another odd bit I have faced recently involves sizes. A WHW can gain 5 pounds and not be able to button her pants. A fat woman has to gain (or lose) far more weight to gain (or lose) enough weight to lose a size. For instance, I had to lose 20 pounds to drop a size. The smaller I get, the less I will have to lose to drop a size, so that is something to look forward to. I can see a little more easily how I was able to gain 20 pounds in a year and not really notice. My clothes were more snug, but did still fit.
Enough about the realities of fatness for one day.
Quote of the Day:
I will act now. I will act now. I will act now. Henceforth, I will repeat these words each hour, each day, everyday, until the words become as much a habit as my breathing, and the action which follows becomes as instinctive as the blinking of my eyelids. With these words I can condition my mind to perform every action necessary for my success. I will act now. I will repeat these words again and again and again. I will walk where failures fear to walk. I will work when failures seek rest. I will act now for now is all I have. Tomorrow is the day reserved for the labor of the lazy. I am not lazy. Tomorrow is the day when the failure will succeed. I am not a failure. I will act now. Success will not wait. If I delay, success will become wed to another and lost to me forever. This is the time. This is the place. I am the person.
-Og Mandino
May 21, 2005
Downward
3 more pounds! That's new total of 29.
Posted by La at 10:31 AM | Comments (0)May 20, 2005
Commitment
Flounder and I made an agreement this week. We have committed to finishing up all the little outstanding projects in the house and painting the basement before the end of the summer. The aforementioned projects are all small, relatively cost free details that have fallen through the cracks over the last year. Touch-ups, picture handing and old record shreading mostly. Painting the basement is more of an undertaking. It's a fairly large space, and the walls aren't in the best shape. However, with three plus months to get these things done, I think we can do it.
I have also made a commitment to myself regarding my current work situation. I have mentioned before that I am looking into other opportunities, but I decided that in the meantime, I am going to reorganize my work process and space. This will do a few things for me. 1) When I am ready to walk away it will be easy for me to hand off my work load, and I won't feel guilty about leaving a mess in my wake. 2) Looking more organized (and actually being more organized) can only improve my reputation in this time of office turmoil. 3) Give me a clearer view of where I can improve my organizational skills (which always need improving) which will be useful knowledge now and going forward. I think it's a darn good plan.
Quote of the Day:
Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each.
--Henry David Thoreau
May 19, 2005
Preperation
I just finished watching Episode 2: Attack of the Clones. I had managed to avoid it up until now. However, I told Flounder I would go see Episode 3 tomorrow, and I needed to be prepared. Though the acting was quite stilted, it wasn't as bad as I expected.
I finished off BtVS Season 7 yesterday. I wrapped the whole season up in 5 days. That was a whole lotta tragedy and slayage for 5 days, but I persevered. I still heart Andrew. OK enough geeking. I almost forgot the quote of the day:
Quote of the Day:
"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved." -William Jennings Bryan
A Path
I am excited. And this is dangerous. I whined and ranted about going back to school more times than I would like to count. Failing out of college is a skeleton I have brought out of the closet but never really confronted. In the last year, I have been more motivated to get back in the classroom, for the sake of getting school out of the way. But what to study? What courses to take? What?!
Today I have good news. I have found a track at the local college I am actually interested in. I have long realized I wouldn't be able to keep up the motivation to take classes (especially the dreaded maths) if I didn't have an end goal beyond graduation for graduation sake. So here it is folks -- Health Education.
This A.A. track prepares students to enter a diverse, people-oriented field in which professionals work to promote lifestyle wellness and improve the health status of society. Health educators assist people in making responsible decisions and changing behaviors to achieve a healthier lifestyle. (from http://www.montgomerycollege.edu)
Years ago I isolated my own goals in the work world, but didn't know how I wanted to achieve them. I want to a) Work in a team environment, not one guided by competition, b) Make a difference in the lives of individuals and the community, leaving the world a better place as a result, c) See the results of my work in the lives of those I work with. I think this course of study will move me closer to those goals.
This fall I will sign up from one class. Probably a writing/lit course to get me going. I haven't realy figured out how to work out the school vs. work vs. future children thing yet. I am confident that Flounder and I will figure it out.
Posted by La at 11:54 AM | Comments (0)The Switch
Change is afoot.
I am getting married in (nearly) a year, working on losing over a hundred pounds, and on the hunt for a career direction that I will find fulfilling. I have enjoyed having my own little place in the blog world at livejournal, but I have decided to make a more permanent stake in cyberspace. And here it is.
Making a change
I have moved my blog and all my livejournal content is coming with me! Check out my new space at:
Posted by La at 10:35 AM | Comments (0)
May 18, 2005
How Nice!
Mi Mama called last night to say that a family friend had gotten in touch with her. This friend (we will call Rochelle) announced to Mi Mama that she wanted to throw me a bridal shower. When Mi Mama related the story to me I thought, How Nice! That is very sweet of her. Then I thought, I guess I have to invite her to the wedding now. Don't get me wrong, these are lovely people who if I had a larger reception location would have already been on the list. I would love for them to be there. Given the tight digs, I was choosing to leave them out. No longer I guess.
Really I am telling this story because you just never know about people. One really has no idea how important or unimportant your role is in another life. Sometimes I think it is something I should take more seriously.
An example: Some years ago I had started spending time with one of my friends mother. She was a fun woman who had no girls of her own (just boys) and didn't make new friends easily. As the time, I was still living at home, most of my friends were away at school and I was unconciously looking for ways to pull away from my own family and gain some independance. As I made other friends and found other ways to build my own life (apart from my own mother) I started spending less and less time with my friends mom as well. I later found out that she thought she had done something wrong -- I had unintentionally hurt her feelings by pulling away without an explination. I was young and didn't realize the effect I had on her. I still feel bad about it actually, but this is what I mean. You never know how your actions effect others. I personally think I need to pay more attention sometimes.
Posted by La at 10:11 AM | Comments (0)May 17, 2005
Confession
Confession is good for the soul, right? I have a confession to make. I am a food sneaker.
What does that mean? To me is means that when I am left alone, especially at home, I sneak snacks. This is my own special kind of crazy. I am sure there are others who do the same thing out there someplace, but this is a brand of weird I am just owning up to. How does it work? Imagine: It's Saturday morning.
My best guess would lead me to believe that I started this habit as a way to rebel at a kid. Perhaps the source of my overweight issues? Perhaps.
The sneaking has become more obvious since I started the weight management program. Since I am not supposed to eat any non-sanctioned food, any food I sneak if very obvious to me. So this is a weird little thing I do that I really want to get a handle on. I can see it will be hard to keep the weight off in the long run if I don't.
Posted by La at 12:00 PM | Comments (0)Buffyathon Geekfest
Over the weekend I went to Target and bought the Buffy season 7 DVDs. I had missed a lot of the season 7 episodes when they first aired and have only caught a few in reruns here and there. Sadly, Buffy is no longer on during the day anytime I can watch it. So I have spent several hours in the past two days enjoying the Buffyness of it all.
I heart Andrew.
My brother's birthday is tomorrow and I have no idea what to get him. I am also atending a graduation party on Saturday. So many presents to buy.
Quote of the Day:
She had an unequalled gift... of squeezing big mistakes into small opportunities.
Posted by La at 10:07 AM | Comments (0)
May 15, 2005
Firstly, I am really bumbed
Firstly, I am really bumbed that I missed out on
The interview in general was fine, but I don't think the interviewers were wowed, and frankly I wasn't either. But that's ok. I am just shopping around a bit.
I am SO excited by the new Harry Potter Trailer. The Goblet of Fire is going to be amazing. I will end my geek rant here.
I got together with some family friends yesterday. The gathering wasn't what I expected. Mostly because the "children" (now all really adults) of the group were mostly now shows. I was pretty dad about that actually. I really wanted to meet wanted to catch up with some of them. Anyway spending time with people I have known for such a long time really made me take a look at home for I have come in the last few years. I have paid off my consumer debt, met a fantastic guy, and got engaged. There are plenty of other little good changes I have made, like making lists and then actually doing the things on the list. You know little stiff. So where am I headed with this? Things keep getting better. What am I lacking? Not much at this point, but kind of big things. Like a great job. A job I love. I don't need to make tons of money. I just want to do something meaningful. Aw well, it will come in time. I know it will. Faith, time and very likely a lot of training. :)
Posted by La at 7:01 PM | Comments (0)May 14, 2005
Rockin' on!
3 more pounds down, for a total of 26!
Posted by La at 10:44 AM | Comments (0)May 11, 2005
Breaking News!
I have an interview on Friday. Crazy no? I am actually interviewing for a HR Assistant position which sounds like it will be very different from what I am doing now. There are some circumstances surrounding this possible opportunity that will have to be considered, but first things first. Wish me luck.
Posted by La at 9:45 PM | Comments (0)Uninspired
This blog is leaving me uninspired. That's pretty bad, when it's your own blog. Looking at my friend's blogs (people I know really well, and have known for years) they seem to have made their spaces their own, by creating a tone and establishing a purpose (for lack of a better term) for it to exist. I really started this thing because
In general I am seeking change in my life right now. Wedding planning is fun -- but the payoff is a year away. The weight managment program is going well -- but steady progress is not exactly exciting. Usually in situations like this one, where I crave change, I would just cut my hair. Not this time though. I really like my haircut and come the end of the summer, I am going to start growing it out for the wedding. So what's a girl to do? Let's make a list!
Positive changes I could make in the near term:
- Exercise. I know I talk about this a lot. I am all talk and no action here. Maybe a little action would do me good.
- Hunting for other employment. You get the point
- Organizing some area of the house. There are areas of the house I haven't even tried to work on. They are crying out for attention.
OK, that's all I got. Until you hear from me again, I will be brainstorming on ways I can use my blog space differently.
Posted by La at 9:59 AM | Comments (0)
May 9, 2005
Another week, Another 2 pounds
At this weeks weigh in I had lost another 2 pounds. Which brings me to 23 pounds in my first month. I am very pleased! I met with the nurse practitioner who was not happy I had only been having 3 shakes not 4. I explained I hadn't been hungry for the 4th most days but she didn't care. Back to 4 I go! Also considering my recent kidney history, she wan't me shooting for 3 liters of water a day. Drink water should be a full time job! So I am stepping up the water. She was rather stern, so I don't want to disapoint her. She also said that most people lose 13-15 pounds in their first month, so I am doing really well.
Saturday afternoon was spent at an engegment party for Yess and her fiancee. It was a lovely get together and I made a buddy among Yess's high school friends, which will make their up coming wedding even more fun. I drove home alone while
Mother's day was delightful. Mi Mama and I went out for manicures and pedicures. Then we met up with Micah and took a stroll at Brookside Gardens. It was a FANTASTIC day and the place was teaming with couples pushing strollers and families trailing behind slow moving Grandmas. Parking was a nightmare, but otherwise it was great.
Quote of the Day:
An optimist is the human personification of spring.
May 6, 2005
In Love
As planned,
Posted by La at 9:27 AM | Comments (0)
May 4, 2005
I decided it would be
I decided it would be good for my professional life to get back in touch with some old co-workers I haven't seen or spoken to in years. These are people I genuinely like and respect, and I am wondering why I lost touch with them in the first place. Considering my interest in other job opportunities, I feel sort of scummy reaching out to them now. Is it networking, or usery? I am no sure, but I honestly don't what else to do. I need references right? Right. I guess I will just see how it goes.
Tomorrow
Quote of the Day:
I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
May 2, 2005
Gardening Kicked My Ass
It's sad folks, but gardening left with some seriously sore muscles. I think it was all of the leaning and (dare I saying it) squatting by the flowerbeds. So I am walking a little slower than usual today. I am really pleased with the results though. Next time I am getting one of those rubber pads to kneel on.
The weather was amazing yesterday too. Not so much today. This afternoon it seriously looked like a storm was a brewin' and of course I am with out my umbrella. Suck.
Quote of the Day:
'She's not the descendant of a long line of mystical warriors. She's the descendant of a toaster oven.'
Anya
Bargaining part one 
Posted by La at 1:37 PM | Comments (0)
May 1, 2005
Disgrace No More!
Today I tackled the front garden and won! I honestly don't know how people with yards larger than a postage stamp do it.
The issues in the basement are multifiold. Firstly the drywall job is rather crappy. There is plenty of uneveness, holes (though I am sure those came later) and crooked seems. This being the starting point, it is difficult to gather inspiration to make it a nice space. Then there is the stuff. There is plenty of it, though honestly I have seen (and probably owned) much, much worse. There are certainly items we could get rid of, but most of the stuff is useful and just needs a home. Oh yes, and the lighting. The lighting is total crap. The space used to be broken up differently so there are lightswitches everywhere and some of the fixtures (in the equally crappy drop ceiling) are broken. Ugh! I do hate it so!
Posted by La at 8:14 PM | Comments (0)