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November 7, 2006
Making It Stick
Yesterday I wrote about phoning in my assignments and participation for my current english class. Maryment posted this comment: "Do I need to point out your pattern of behavior of starting things strongly and then throwing in the towel abruptly and whole-heartedly???"
Maryment has hit the nail on the head with this one. I have a few characteristics and behavior patterns that really holds me back. The biggest one I have been struggling with over the last year or so is my tendancy to enthusiastically start a project, program or plan -- shouting my intentions from the rooftops, and then shortly thereafter drop the whole thing like it never happend. I even outlined the problem in relation to my weight loss struggles back in August.
Remember this?
"I start a new program and it's effective, I start to lose, and then I start to fiddle. I add in foods I am not supposed to have, or change the portion size. Why must I futz with a good thing? Lather, rinse, repeat -- no matter which plan I am on I repeat the same behavior."
I haven't gotten anywhere with this issue since that entry. Oh, I have mused on it and made plans to change. But really the plans are half my problem. Years ago when Ms. WAS and I were room mates, she pointed out that I spent a lot of time planning, but not much time doing. "Yeah, so?" I thought at the time. "I like to plan, so sue me." But her point was valid. Creating a plan (or making a list) makes me good about myself. Just look at all the things I will accomplish! I even feel pretty good when I start a project, but soon the reality of what it will take to complete the project sets in and I quit. It's not always about avoiding work though -- sometimes I just get distracted, or don't use my time well. Regardless of how it happens I am often thrown off track and end up wondering what ever happened to my beautiful plan. And really the plans are good, just a bit ambitious. Small goals seem so unrewarding (small goal, small reward) that I usually set Big Goals! Lose 100 pounds before the year is out! Reorganize my entire house using this new book! Start cooking dinner every night! These big goals usually end up being unsustainable. I get that, I really do, but the truely discouraging part is the little goals seem pretty hard to manage as well.
Why is so hard to keep the sink empty? The clothes off the floor? My desk clear of clutter? OK, I'll tell you, its the constant maintinance. Just about every area of my life requires constant tending. I realize I am not the only one who has to manage their lives on a day to day basis. So what am I getting at? I guess that keeping a life together and trying to be a better person is hard, never ceasing work and I don't always want to deal with it. And lately I have wanted to deal even less than usual.
So it's back to the drawing board. I guess I need a strategy for conquring this stuff...maybe I will make a list.
Quote of the Day:
It used to be that you came out of school, and you got married - those who were going to get married. But my peers are getting married in their early 30s, so now there's like this extra 10 years of that angst.
Zach Braff
(I told you I would bring the Angst did I not?)
Comments
"my tendency to enthusiastically start a project . . . and then shortly thereafter drop the whole thing like it never happened."
What, that's a bad thing? I consider my fickleness to be endearing. I've also decided that my tendency to get bored with things after a few days/weeks is indicative of my brilliancy. Brilliant people require constant and varied stimulation.
Would you care to join me donning a pair of rose-colored glasses?
Posted by: EnnuiHerself at November 7, 2006 5:30 PM
