December 2007 Archives

Christmas was terrific! Despite a nasty cold (which I am just starting to get over), I had a lovely time connecting with family, sharing gifts and generally enjoying the season. I even managed to put my impending ophthamology appointment out of my mind. Eventually time caught up with me.

Last night I saw the ophthamologist, and he confirmed that yes, I do have swollen optic nerves, and I should have an MRI to rule out a brain tumor, and then regardless of the findings of the MRI, I will need to see a neurologist. It is most likely that I am tumor-free and instead I developed Pseudotumor cerebri (or Intracranial Hypertension) which means there is too much cerebrospinal fluid in your head, and there's no place for this fluid to go. The increased pressure from the cerebrospinal fluid is what could be causing the optic nerves to swell. At this point I am hoping against the tumor, for obvious reasons. The Intracranial Hypertension doesn't look like a walk in the park either. I happy to say that I am feeling pretty calm about the whole thing. Previously, I thought being well informed about my possible maladies was a bad idea, but after my appointment yesterday I have changed my mind. Better well informed and a little alarmed then uninformed and in the dark.

Tomorrow I will have the MRI done, and then we will go from there. The good news is, I am not in pain (Intracranial Hypertension usually comes with serious head-aches) and we have a plan action. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I get to the bottom of these issues.

Quote of the Day:
There is much to support the view that it is clothes that wear us and not we them; we may make them take the mould of arm or breast, but they would mould our hearts, our brains, our tongues to their liking.
-Virginia Woolf

I have my final grade in my American Politics class. I am happy to report that I got an A! I am having a hard time believeing it myself, but the college website doesn't lie. at least I hope it doesn't.

So this is my own little Christmas Miracle!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Quote of the Day:
The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him.
-Pablo Casals

Turned in my term paper? Check!

Finished my Christmas shopping? Check!

Completed my final exam? Check!

Mailed my Christmas cards? Check!

Check check check!

I have been anticipating this day since I first started spazzing out over this class back in October. The spazzing out is something I really need to examine, but I will save that for another post. To celebrate the completion of all these goals, Flounder and I are going to enjoy the Winter Lights show at our local park, and go home to watch White Christmas (which might be news to Flounder!), my favorite Christmas movie! Bliss.

In a couple of days jords will be coming to see us, and we will meet up with the Storybook parents for a trip into the city for some family-together time. Then we are off to PA for Christmas Eve, and they Christmas Day with Mi Mama, Micah and the crew. I am really looking forward to this time to decompress and hang with loved ones.

And because all this Christmas cheer is just getting to jolly, I have a story of fear for you. Last weekend I went to the optometrist for a check up and to update the glasses I never wear. After the exam the doctor thought that my optic nerve appeared swollen, and refered me to an opotomologist, who can't see me until a week from today. I made a grave error and looked up my symptoms on the interweb. Christ! At worst I am staring down a brain tumor, at best I probably have cranial fluid pressing on my optic nerves which would cause the swelling. Possible testing for these conditions? CT scan, MRI or a SPINAL TAP! Yeah, I think this was stuff I didn't need to know until I was sitting in front of the doctor. So please, work up a good supply of happy thoughts and send the my way at 4:45 next Wednesday. I will need it.

Stupid Interweb.

Quote of the Day:
If you think about disaster, you will get it. Brood about death and you hasten your demise. Think positively and masterfully, with confidence and faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught with action, richer in achievement and experience.
-Edward Rickenbacker

Tuesday was a harrowing day for me. I rolled into work thinking I could write the conclusion to my paper, do the bibliography over lunch and turn the paper in that evening. What a silly fool I was. I did write the conclusion but surprise! surprise! all hell broke loose and I had to actually do work. My effort to finish my paper in time for class was thwarted. In the end I had to miss my class, and didn't leave the office until after 10:00 pm because that is how long it took to handle the work project and finish the bibliography. By the time my sweet Flounder picked me up from the Metro I was cursing life and beating myself up. I knew I had screwed up, and I was very worried that my hard-lined professor would accept my paper. I had just emailed it to him at 10:00 pm. I was beyond exhausted by the time we got home, having only gotten 4 hours of sleep the night before. I am so very happy to say that the prof. emailed me back Wednesday morning, confirming that he did accept my submission. What a relief!

What I have learn from this experience:
1. Bibliographies take a long, long time! Budget 4 hours to get it done, 6 hours if you haven't stayed organized while writing the paper.

2. Never, ever expect to finish school work at work. It's just a mistake.

3. If a scholarly source makes a subject seem overwhelming, don't procrastinate, go straight to layman sources like newspapers and magazines.

4. Even when you screw up in a serious way, sometimes hard work can pull you through.

In the end I couldn't be happier that this damn paper is done. Next Tuesday is the exam and then I am free to celebrate Christmas with joy in my heart. And I will.

Quote ofthe Day:
The world is full of human lobsters; men stranded on the rocks of indecision and procrastination, who, instead of putting forth their own energies, are waiting for some grand billow of good fortune to set them afloat.
-Orison Swett Marden