June 21, 2007
Nothing To Hide From
I am seriously counting down to the start of vacation the week after next. It's been too long since I had nothing to do. Let me clarify. It's not like I have been living a haired, hectic life where I am constantly in motion. This is not so. You know it's not. However I, like you, do always have an expectations hanging over my head. Things I should or could be doing. People I should be calling or projects I ought to be completing. These undone things haunt me and often stun me into frozen inaction. This is my way. Feeling overwhelmed by the opportunities and responsibilities of life is pretty standard for me. All thought and no action.
But here is the beauty part. On vacation there are very few responsibilities and tons of opportunities, none of which I am required to take. The only person I will be responsible to is Flounder, known far and wide as the most easy-going person on the planet. Thusly, a vacation is an escape for me in the truest sense. Nothing to hide from, just nothing. Bring it on.
Quote of the Day:
What do I want to take home from my summer vacation? Time. The wonderful luxury of being at rest. The days when you shut down the mental machinery that keeps life on track and let life simply wander. The days when you stop planning, analyzing, thinking and just are. Summer is my period of grace.
-Ellen Goodman
February 20, 2007
Breathe
I just hung up with Mi Mama. She is having a radical hysterectomy on Thursday and went in for pre-surgery testing today. That testing included a chest X-Ray, which revealed an "enlargement" of her left lung "near her heart". The doctor refused to speculate what these results might mean but she is calling for a CT scan to gather more info. The CT scan will be scheduled as soon as some other test results come back.
I am entirely freaking out. I was really ok with the hysterectomy. Not worried, just preparing to help Mi Mama recuperate safely. Not anymore. My heart has gone into high gear and my mind is just spinning with "what ifs." There are so many I won't try to recount them here.
All I know is I still need my Mom.
Posted by La at 3:27 PM | Comments (1)January 29, 2007
Notes from a Cluttered Desk
I was chastised this weekend (and rightly so) for neglecting my blog. Because I am to scattered right now to put together a cohesive post, I thought I would just jot down a few bullet points and let you sort them out.
*Scope Gate = Scapegoat, I had a really hard time speaking the words I intended this weekend!
Quote of the Day:
Everyone who's ever taken a shower has an idea. It's the person who gets out of the shower, dries off, and does something about it that makes a difference.
Nolan Bushnell - Founder of Atari
January 2, 2007
Things To Be Happy About - January
Hello 2007! Let's take a minute to count up some things to be happy about!
Quote of the Day
No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow.
-Lin Yutang
November 30, 2006
Mayday! Mayday!
I just accidentally dropped three coins in one of the toilets of our 5 stall bathroom at the office! Even after flushing, they are just sitting there in the bottom of the bowl all shiny. What should I do?
I see 3 options...
A) Do nothing (this is what I favor)
B) Call maintenence and report the coins like someone else did it
C) Go fish them out myself (EWWW!)
What do you think?
Posted by La at 9:16 AM | Comments (2)November 27, 2006
Not As Upset As I Expected
When Mi Mama first told that me she was dating, I was a bit taken aback. The second time we talked about it, I was weirded out. Mi Mama hasn't dated for 13 years. This was big news. Oh, and by the way, the Beau will be staying in Mi Mama's house while he does carpentry work for her. And looking for work elsewhere. OK. Now I met this guy, and he seems like a fundementally good person, but still. Strange right?
As I am slowly working my way toward acceptance I have run the gamut of emotions. Stating as I mentioned, with shock, next there was betrayal. You have to understand that in the past Mi Mama had a career and a home and a full, busy life but really Micah and I were the center of it. I liked it that way. I have gotten really used to being one of the two most important people in my Mom's life. Now I do believe that it still true, deep down, but we are no longer front and center for her. Micah is out on his own, with a job, bills and a dog to care for. I am clearly married and I am working on building a new family of my own. I guess it is sort of natural that Mi Mama would be ready for something more in her life. But I have to say I felt a little replaced. And it hurt.
As I moved past being hurt, I stepped right into confusion. And this is where I am hanging out now. I realize I have not been surplanted, nor has Micah. I also know she is not head-over-heals in love, but she is in like and is keeping her eyes wide open. So while we all ride out this new phase in our lives, I am keeping my heart open and my mouth shut. Maybe I will even get to acceptance one of these days.
Quote of the Day:
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
Ogden Nash
November 25, 2006
Christmas Spirit
I am happy to say that I have caught the spirit! I picked it up was somewhere between doing 60% of my Christmas shopping online yesterday (love those online Black Friday Deals!) and visiting the 11th Annual Winter Light show in our local park.
Filled with the Spirit, Flounder and I spent today walking the historic sections of Ellicott City and Frederick today. The weather was beautiful, the company was fantastic and we had a wonderful day.
And just like that, I feel totally in control and am anticipating a delightful holiday season. What a difference a day makes!
Quote of the Day:
It's hard to beat a person who never gives up.
Babe Ruth
November 24, 2006
Thankful
Yesterday was a whirl of friends, family and turkey. Flounder and I had not one but two turkey meals yesterrday. First lunch with the Storybook family, and then dinner with Mi Mama, Micah and Co. Despite 2 grumpy grandmas, we managed to have delightful time. What I didn't have time for was reflecting on what I am thankful for this year. So hear goes!
*Flounder! I really couldn't ask for a better partner.
*The Internet. Thanks the to magic of the web, I have been able to do half of my Christmas shopping between last night and this morning.
*Becoming a bit more Brave. I have done a handful of scary things lately and came through it unscathed.
*Family. I am very happy to have married into a family that while different from my own, have melded pretty seamlessly. How lucky am I?
*Having more than enough. So many people don't have their basic needs met. I realize how fortunate I am.
*Support. Everything is easier when you are surrounded by enthusiastic supporters.
I am also grateful for three more days away from work. I think I feel some quilting coming on.
Quote of the Day:
“Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.”
James Arthur Baldwin
November 19, 2006
Casino Royale *spoiler*
Last night Flounder and I went to go see Casino Royale, the latest James Bond film. Haven't seen any of the Pierce Brosnan 007 films and the Bond film I have seen most recently was Goldfinger, so I didn't exactly know what I was in for.
*BEWARE Spoiler Starts here. If you don't want to know what happens in this movie, stop here. I take no responsibility. Seriously.*
Things I liked:
* Daniel Craig. BIG thumbs up. He a smooth, flawed and rough around the edges. More Clive Owen in The Inside Man than Pierce Brosnan in the Thomas Crown affair. Except more athletic. And with bluer eyes (I really think DC has taken the "Bluest Eyes On The Planet" award away from Paul Newman. Could that be?) and a better suit. Speaking of the suit, the man can really fill on out...hmmm...ok I am focusing. Yeah, I liked the new Bond.
*Meaningful Bond Girls. The women in this film (even the poor short lived one) really had a purpose other than being a sexy body for 007 to fool around with. I really have no problem with all the sexy women in action films (let's face it, pretty is pretty) but I like it when the writers can find a reason for them to be there.
*Witty Repartee. Ok so some of the dialog was not great, but plenty of it was above par and almost all of it was better than what I have seen from Bond films in the past. Yay for boy/girl banter.
Things I didn't like:
*The opening title sequence. It was stupid and card themed and ugly and dumb. And stupid. Oh and Flounder didn't like that there were no cleverly stylized naked females displayed in anyway during the opening credits. It's not just me.
*The Big Bad cried blood. Uck!
*Apparently now african guns for hire practice free running (or parkour) and have the ankle/knee strength of Wolverine. I mean it, or a few minutes I was waiting for Bond to discover that the guy he was chasing really belongs in Men In Black or X-men.
*The film really deserved a R rating. Between the bruital deaths & naked troture, PG-13 really didn't cut it.
*All the people in the airplane hanger were digitally inserted and I could tell. Annoying.
I think there is more, but frankly I have been doing nothing but homework for several hours now and I can't think anymore.
Quote of the Day:
James Bond: "Vesper"? I do hope you gave your parents hell for that!
November 13, 2006
NaBloPoMo: Things To Be Happy About
* Who's line is it anyway
* The Holidays
* Coke Zero
* Fat Quarters
* Little Paws
* HungryGirl.com
* California by Rufus Wainwright
* Coral Pink
* Mackenzie Astin
* When people say "cheers" as a sign off
Quote of the Day:
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Albert Einstein
November 9, 2006
This American Life
I love This American Life. If you haven't listened before (and if so, shame one you) it is an NPR radio show hosted and produced by Ira Glass and tells quirky stories, portraits of events or goings on in peoples lives. There is always a theme, which changes from week to week. I really enjoy listening in the car, alone thinking about the real odd, wonderful and terrible things that happen to other people. I think the reason I most enjoy the show is because I can see myself as a contributer. I could totally tell a wacky story from my life which the listening public would enjoy. Come on, you know I am right.
Remember that 29 year old wannabe comic who I dated briefly when I was 18? The pothead I couldn't identify as such becauce I didn't know what pot smelled like?
And that one where I left my car running ALL DAY at the Metro while at work and attending a preview of American Beauty (where I talked to Kevin Spacey!) and returned to my car after 10:00 pm to find it still running! No overheating. No theft.
Don't forget that time Red and I convinced a lovestruck (with Red) rainbow-haired punk to drive us to Tennessee so I could meet the guy I had been flirting with over the internet?
So, I could totally be on the show. I love that show. I would fit right in.
*****************
Sidenote: I just wanted to mention, after spewing so much angst earlier this week, that I am really going to work on this issue, not just whine about it blog-style. I probably won't bring it up again here until I have made some progress or had a miraculous epiphany.
****************
Quote of the Day:
"No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings."
William Blake
November 5, 2006
Rock The Vote?
I will admit I don't always vote in local elections (sorry, Ms. RBT!) I do plan on voting on Tuesday primarily because I don't want to lose the right to complain about the government amongst my friends. Do you enjoy whining about the powers that be? Then you must vote too, or be shuned by thinking voters everywhere! Do it! I don't want to be the only on standing in line.
Need some help?
*Are you a Maryland voter unsure where you should cast your ballot? Thanks to UMBC, you can find your polling place here.
*If you live in MoCo and aren't sure who is running the current election, check out this non-partian voter guide.
*What? You're not registered to vote? Just do it.
Quote of the Day:
“Those who stay away from the election think that one vote will do no good: 'Tis but one step more to think one vote will do no harm.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
October 18, 2006
Things To Be Happy About - October
* My New TV Obsession: Veronica Mars (thanks be to Maryment)
* Home Improvements
* Knowing you have everything you need to complete the project at hand
* Soft Kleenex
* Fall Produce
* Pushover by The Long Winters
* Mini Tote Bags
* A freshly cleaned car and a full tank of gas
Quote of the Day:
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain
October 10, 2006
Karma
Yesterday I found out that the most ethically dubious person I have ever met will no longer be my colleague. She was my boss for couple of years and when I found out she would no longer be my supervisor I was so happy I hosted a happy hour. I am exceedingly pleased to see this baddie get her due. Oh, sweet karma.
Quote of the Day:
“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”
Wayne Dyer quotes
September 26, 2006
Things To Be Happy About
♦ Cotton Sateen (it's not just for bedsheets anymore!)
♦ The golden sunshine found exclusively in late September
♦ Novels set during the Napoleonic wars
♦ Bottled iced white tea
♦ Salt glazed pottery
♦ Completing a task ahead of schedule and knowing you've done your best
♦ "Signature" accessories that remind you of happy times
Quote of the Day:
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
H. G. Wells
September 24, 2006
Am I A Hipster Now?
Since marrying and settling down in the suburbs, I thought I had given up my dreams of becoming a hipster. But could my dreams be rekindled?
In a recent article from Slate, Josh Levin criticized Zack Braff as a performer who has set himself up the be "the voice of the [twenty-somthing] generation" but "Never has the voice of a generation had so little of substance to say." Apparently Mr. Levine hated Garden State, and thinks that Braff's head it getting a bit too big for his britches (or something like that.) He does allow that Braff can put together a mean sound track (though he doesn't really approve of this either.)
Since we all agree that the Garden State sound track was awsome and most seem to think that The Last Kiss's sound track is equally good, here is my question. Do I get hipster points for already owning 7 of the 15 songs on the latter sound track before the compellation was released?
That has to count for something right?
Posted by La at 10:17 AM | Comments (1)September 11, 2006
Double-Sided Coin
As the Washington Post, CNN, NPR and everyother news outlet are reminding us ad nauseam, today is the 5th anniversery of September 11th. I am all for remembering, but I am feeling a little bombarded. I will be taking time to reflect on my own 9/11 experiences and those who's lives were lost, but I don't feel the need to watch the original 9/11 tv coverage in realtime on CNN. Who wants to wallow in the pain and terror on that level? To each his own, but I don't think I will be listening to as much radio, or watching as much television today as I would on a typical September Monday.
In a striking juxtaposition, today is the 3rd anniversery of my first date with Flounder. We met in person three years ago and have been attached at the hip ever since. We won't be "celebrating" this occasion, but we will be marking the day with a little reminiscing. Our lives have changed drastically in the last 5 years, the last 3 of those especially. Today we are just happy to have spent the last three years together. Big plans are in the works for Spring of 2008, but more on that another time.
Today I will also be attending the first meeting of my autumn semester english class. Wish me luck!
Quote of the Day:
Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.
Michel de Montaigne
September 3, 2006
Everything Is A Little Bit Better When...
You have red toenails. And that is a Universal Truth.
Posted by La at 10:57 AM | Comments (1)August 7, 2006
Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad
This weekend I reknewed an annual ritual. Flounder travels to San Francisco at least once a year. When he does, I take advantage of his absence and rent the movies he has no interest in watching. This time around I chose The Family Stone, In Her Shoes and Elizabethtown.
2 of these films were a delightful use of dvd technology, the third was a bust. Let's start with the bust.
Elizabethtown -- This movie was a turkey that didn't have to be. You could see that Cameron Crowe had a vision with a message he was trying to communicate but just couldn't get past the draft stage of the screenplay. It was a perfect waste of Paula Dean. I watched the film with Ms. RBT* and Ms. PNB who's company was what saved the evening.
In Her Shoes -- This movie was based on a book I loved of the same name. The essence of the book was totally captured by the film. The reviews for this one were more positive than most films get, but it was a box office flop. This is a perfect movie for sisters to watch together. Watching it witch Mi Mama was equally as good.
The Family Stone -- The reviews were pretty dismal on the this one, but I really like it anyway. I will admit that part of the pleasure I derived from the film was due to the resembelence between Sarah Jessica Parker's character and one of my co-workers. However, I really enjoyed Diane Keaton's atypical potrayal was as the acerbic mother. I found the entire family dynamic highly interesting. Some called it contrived, and I can see that, but I guess I didn't care.
*I neglected to mention the phenomenon that was Chuck & Cindy: The Wedding. This was a rather entertaining sub-plot which did nothing to move the story forward, but did distract us from how dull the rest of the film was. Chuck and Cindy forever!
Posted by La at 11:38 AM | Comments (1)July 11, 2006
My NEW Big Blue Bag
This is my first blue purse, but far from my first BIG purse. I usually go with black bags, or brown. Then again I have had red, rich green and transparent plastic leopard printed bags I have loved. All of these bags have been large, oversized infact. Why this museing on the bags that have gone before? Mi Mama recently commented on the pink and green canvas LL Bean tote I have been draging around since April. She pointed out that it a bit large. I looks at it, then at her and pointed out that my bags are always bigger than they need to be and that I like them that way. It was then I realized that my love for big bags is a defining characteristic. Now and again I have flirted with a little bag, but never found the satisfaction I was looking for. I love being able to purchase a book, sandwich, or bottle of water and be able to leave the plastic bag at the counter because it will fit in my handbag! I love almost always having a pen or whatever my fellow travelers might ask to borrow. Mint perhaps? Need a Post-it? A therapist my tell you it all links back to my desire to be needed, that being prepared to outfit world with gum and napkins is a typical behavior of overweight women who feel compelled to take care of others. Whatever! Like my bag because it allows me to be ready for anything. Besides it is a delightfully Smurfy blue!
All hail the big bag!
Quote of the Day:
“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”
Herm Albright(1876 - 1944)
February 4, 2006
Happiness Is...
A clean kitchen. Such order! Such serenity! So many possibilities to creatively mess it up again.
I just started to write a diatribe on the bad wrap domestic bliss is getting these days and I stopped because I realized something. There is no such thing as domestic bliss. I think one can find happiness in domestic pursuites but that isn't the end of the story. I just wished people could each make the choice that worked best for us and stop pressuring one another.
I am getting married, and I am looking down the road to having kids, because that is what I want -- not because I feel the need to fulfill a social norm. I would like to stay home with my children if it is financially possible. But again that is me. I want to have a great adventure with my husband before the kids hit the scene. My ambitions aren't grand things, but they are mine and I cherish the freedom I enjoy to have them. Where am I headed with this? I want to go on record saying that support each individuals right to seek the best route to happiness for them as long as it includes the right to request we each adopt the maxim "first do no harm." Live and let live I say.
Quote of the Day:
Distance does not decide who is your brother and who is not. The church is going to have to become the conscience of the free market if it's to have any meaning in this world - and stop being its apologist.
Bono
January 5, 2006
Priorities
I started an entry yesterday outlining all the things I want, but don't necessarily need. These items included a new car (which will land in the "need" catagory eventually), a new cell phone (mine is poorly designed) and a amazingly expensive handbag. Now, I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting these things, or even having them, the problem comes in when I start to believe I need them.
I was getting dangerously close. I believe I have lost track of some of my priorities.
Why is that? I wondered. I am naturally a procrastinator, so I am often putting off tasks (even those that are important to me) and I get off track very easily. As a result I find keeping my priorities in focus a challenge. This sounds like an excuse, which I guess it is, but realistically it is an explaination. These are the reasons that I have to work extra hard to keep my priorities in order. I don't especially enjoy working extra hard.
Beyond my inability to keep my priorities in order, what are these priorities I claim to have in the first place? This is where I need to do some self evalutation. I don't think I will spend a day in solitude considering the issue, but I will set aside time each day next week to think about it. Infact I will make the task a goal for next week!
Note about the quote below: It's sad when The Onion hits the nail so firmly on the head.
Quote of the Day:
Important Christmas Lessons Already Forgotten
The Onion
January 4, 2006 | Issue 42•01
HARTFORD, CT—As the nation moves on from last month's family gatherings, churchgoing, and goodwill toward men, the annual post-Christmas readjustment process is proceeding on schedule, with millions of Americans forgoing their temporary generosity of spirit and resuming their petty, miserable treatment of one another.
Though the joy and glad tidings of the holiday season are mere weeks behind us, sources report that more than 85 percent of 2005's Christmastime lessons have already been forgotten, with that number expected to reach 98 percent by as early as next week.
"Christmas is a magical time of year when people of all ages and backgrounds put aside their differences and are reminded of the things that truly count: the joy of giving, the gleam in a young child's eye, and the sound of voices raised together in song," said James Samuelson of the Hartford-based Institute For American Cultural Mores & Values, which tracks the rise and fall of human love and kindness throughout the year. "Mid-January to early February, by contrast, is a magical time of year when people forget all about that stuff. This leads to mid- to late February, a magical time of year when people everywhere feel overpowering, soul-crushing emotional pain, causing them to hate their coworkers, their loved ones, and themselves."
January 3, 2006
A New Year Of Resolutions
Since in the past I have found New Years Resolutions to be unsustainable, I am attacking my goals for this year with a three pronged approach. Firstly, I am setting a theme for 2006 -- bringing the inside out. Generally I feel very positively about my life and the direction it is taking, and I want to externalize that positive out look. This means taking better care of my physical self, putting more effort into looking my best and acting in my own best interest. I know it's a broad theme, but that is kind of the point.
Secondly, I will set new goals for myself at the beginning of each month. At the end of the month I will revaluate those goals, set new goals and repeat. These monthly goals will mostly be health and fitness related.
Since sometimes even a month is too long term for me, I will also be setting weekly goals. The weekly goals are more likely to revolve around "life stuff", those tasks that will fall through the cracks if I don't set aside time to concentrate on them. I will also be setting work related goals for myself, but I will be keeping those off the blog.
Goals for January:
Goals for this week (1-3-06):
Happy New Year!
Quote of the Day:
We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that we begin to see the present only when it is already disappearing.
R. D. Laing
November 25, 2005
Thanksgiving
I had a lovely day with my family yesterday. We had a delicious dinner at which I at more than my share, but not enough to make me ill, which sadly is a step forward for Thanksgiving. I honestly haven't had such a good time with my extended family for quite awhile. I very pleasent suprise.
Speaking of surprises, Flounder and I surprised ourselves and went shopping today. We had a delightful time and accomplished loads. I am already coming down the home stretch on my shopping and I am Oh! so happy about that development. We also picked up our holiday cards. There is a whole lot of writing in our future.
How I love Christmas!
Quote of the Day:
"I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits that strict justice."
Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
November 15, 2005
WEbring Assigment #16b - Metro Safety
My dear friend Ms. Rather Be Traveling was the victim of a mugging on the Metro last week and a witness to an assult on the transit system on Monday. I recommend you read her account to better understand the dangers you could encounter on Metro.
She gave us an alternative WEbring topic for today: Ways to stifle Metro´s enablement of crime on the Metro?
Personally, I think the easiest and most effective change Metro could make would be to halt trains in the nearest station when a crime is reported to a train operator. At least the criminal would not have the option of running amuck around the system while the Tranist police arrive. I also want to know how much it would cost to have a transit police officer in every metro station in the system. A 30 minute response time is not good enough.
Below are saftey tips from the Metro website.
For other takes on this topic see:
Write Again Soon
Bad Apologies
A Prize In Every Box
Post No Bills
Lugnochro
In Trains
Tips:
When waiting for a train, stand near other passengers. Do not stand on the platform's granite edge.
Keep a firm grip on your purse. However, avoid wrapping the strap around your hand or wrist.
Features
Chain link fences block people from trying to cross outdoor Metrorail tracks.
In central control
Training and procedures
Dealing with panhandlers
Ruin a pickpocket's day
Pickpockets love crowds. Take precautions to protect your valuables:
Help prevent auto theft
Every 20 seconds, a car is stolen in the United States. Don't be a victim. To help prevent the theft of your automobile, remember these tips:
Posted by La at 12:55 PM | Comments (0)
November 11, 2005
Why Starucks Will Rule The World
The clear superiority of the Gingerbread Latte, which is enough to catapult any company into world domination. However, it is their smart, sneaky marketing that makes them really dangerous. I give you, The Red Cup. Starbucks it working to make their red cup synonymous with the holiday season. Ingenious.
Posted by La at 7:21 AM | Comments (0)October 27, 2005
Cha-Ching!
Damn it has been an expensive month. Oral surgery, 2 weddings, 1 car battery, a trip to Deep Creek Lake and now more car problems. I don't yet know what is wrong with the car but I am sure it is going to expensive. Even with all this I am thanking my luck stars. Riding with the tow truck driver last night, we discussed his experiences as a repo man. I got a chill remembering a time in my early twenties when everytime I walked out get in my car, I crossed my fingers and prayed it was still there.
The stress that come with financial instability is the worst I have ever experienced. I am glad to have it behind me. Maybe growing up isn't so bad afterall.
I can't wait to blow off some steam this weekend. Tonight is going to be hectic with packing, laundering and shopping. Lord, we are taking a lot of stuff with us! In the midst of the To Do List swirling around in my head, I have a long list of things I am grateful for. Look for a portion of that list in upcoming posts.
Quote of the Day:
Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons. It is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth.
Walt Whitman (1819 - 1892), Song of the Open Road
October 10, 2005
Who Is Throwing The Apocalypse?
I don't usually play Chicken Little, but I am starting to get a little freaked out about all the natural disasters the human race is enduring at the moment.
First Hur icanes Katrina and Rita hitting the Gulf Coast.
Then Hurricane Stan and the mud slides that followed in Guatemala.
This weekend there was the 7.6-magnitude quake in South Asia, from central Afghanistan to western Bangladesh, killing at least 30,000 people.
Perhaps there aren't more disasters desieging us at the moment. Maybe I am just more aware of them than I used to be, but regardless, it's not a pretty picture.
Quote of the Day:
No one but Night, with tears on her dark face,
Watches beside me in this windy place.
~Edna St. Vincent Millay
September 28, 2005
My New Motto
Feel the fear, and do it anyway.
Posted by La at 3:51 PM | Comments (3)September 23, 2005
Mr. and Mrs. Darcy
I have discovered my own personal crack. It is the perfect marriage of costume dra-medy and genre mystery. It is
I have long loved Jane Austen, P&P being my favorite of her books. The pleasure I derive from genre mystery however is new to me. I am zooming through both the Tea Shop Mysteries and the Hemlock Falls Mysteries. Both are series with professional women as the central character involved in detecting.
Previously, I have read Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife: Pride and Prejudice Continues by Linda Berdoll. It is a fantasticly smutty sequal to the origial P&P that covers the years following the double wedding. I can't come close to explaining how much I love this book. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that there are additional squals out there (totally unconnected to Ms. Berdoll's version mentioned above).
And because I am so kind, I reveal to you below the other tantilizing options.
Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentleman: Duty And Desire by Pamela Aidan
The Darcys by Phyllis Furley
Conviction: A Sequel To Jane Austen's Pride And Prejudice by Skylar Hamilton Burris
Mrs Darcy's Dilemma: A sequel to Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice by Diana Birchall
Enjoy my Lovelies!
Posted by La at 7:59 PM | Comments (0)September 22, 2005
The Word For It Is Geek
Here is the link to the new Harry Potter Goblet of Fire trailer. OMG it looks so good. Pardon me while I geek out!
http://raincloud.warnerbros.com/wbmovies/harrypotter/trailer_hi.mov
Posted by La at 10:33 PM | Comments (1)September 9, 2005
Turmoil and Angst, II (Continued)
Angsty Issue #2 - I don't enjoy my work...continued.
I am just wrapping up a difficult week. My sadness about the state of the gulf coast is magnified through the lense of hormones and my lack of coping mechanisms when it comes to stress. I have been eating as a buffer, but knowing I am veiring off course from my diet goals only causes more stress. Vicious cycle. Huricane Katrina is so huge it's hard for me to even wrap my head around it.
I bring this up because the destruction wrought by Huricane Katrina has reminded me how short and fragile life is, how much time I have wasted being afraid. We don't get enough time here to waste it. So I have taken action and gone back to school. That's great, go me! But what about right now? I am not reaching my potential today.
Today I am sitting at a desk, working a job that plays on my weaknesses and requires me to approach tasks in ways that are unatural for me. I am not built for multi-tasking. For me, trying to do more than two things at once guarantees errors and unecessary difficulty. I lose track of where I am in my work, too often missing steps or duplicating effort. The possibility of making a major mistake hangs over me like a storm cloud. Usually it is tolerable. Occassionally when the deadlines are tight and my plate is full I feel overwhelmed, anxious and miserable. I am not a lot of fun to work with either.
This brings us to the question of the day. What changes can I make to make my work life more satisfying while I work toward a degree?
Quote of the Day:
If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
--Mary Engelbreit
September 2, 2005
Heartsick
I have been fighting back tears all day. The compound human suffering is dragging my down. I want to help, but besides donating money is there anything I can do without actually going down south? I am working on it. Meanwhile I going to try to stay away from the news. I am tired of being sad.
Posted by La at 7:59 PM | Comments (0)August 31, 2005
Helping Himself
I am so disappointed! Carjackings and lootings in New Orleans? Why do a few fools and criminals have to make life more difficult for the shop owners and private citizens trying to survive this ordeal? Just another reminder of how humanity can suck.
Fortunately there is a counter point in this disaster. The rescue workers, aid givers and again private citizens who are working to help the victims of this tragedy. I visited New Orleans for the first time this year. I am so sad for the families who have lived their for generations and hoped to never leave. I pray they find the peace they need to get through this.
Quote of the Day:
"No one can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."
-Charles Dudley Warner
August 22, 2005
How Do They Do It?
This past weekend ended up as a good one. The wedding I attended turned out to be a very special day for the bride and groom. The ceremony was clearly a very personal event, which in my opinion is how it should be. They glowed with happiness and at this point, that's what counts.
After the wedding I had a chance to visit with some old family friends. We talked about their children and the fears some of us shared regarding some of their recent choices. It brought home how challenging being a parent must really be. Not only to get your kids through the school years as undamaged as possible, but then to have to stand back and watch them make the faltering first steps into early adulthood? Nothing if not painful. I don't know how Mi Mama does it.
Sunday was spent getting Mi Mama's place ready for a house guest. She has a good friend who needed a place to stay. So we rallyed, clearing out the basement, and moving Micah's stuff into the basement apartment space. Mom and her friend will then have the run of the top floor. It was hard work, but we got the majority of the stuff moved, trashed or donated. It made me wonder why do we never make the effort to do this much work in our own home? Laziness I think.
Quote of the Day:
"It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere."
Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.
August 20, 2005
Turmoil and Angst, II
Angsty Issue #1, UPDATE- Should I invite my Estranged Biological Father (EBF) to our wedding?
I made a bold move and called my EBF. It's been years since I have voluntarily spoken to him. I think the last time I heard his voice was when he left a message on my voicemail August of 2002. The phone conversation went well. He has mellowed in the last few years. He was happy to hear from me. I think he was pretty sure I was never going to try to get in touch with him at this point. We talked for over an hour and just sort of settled the issue of the past being the past. I think it's better to forgive and forget on that score. It seems to me that neither of us really need to have a typical father/daughter relationship, but some kind of relationship would bea good thing. I learned his son (my 31 year old half brother, with whom I have had very little contact) is also getting married this coming May. It seems he has been living near Flounder's hometown in PA. Funny huh, parallel lives in parallel states. So yes, unless hed really screws up between now and May, I am inviting him and his wife to the wedding. It feels good to have one less thing up in the air.
Angsty Issue #2 - I don't enjoy my work.
I don't enjoy the work I do. There are specific things I dislike about my work place but in general it's the work itself that I don't enjoy. I have looked into getting a different job. At the moment I feel like my skill set boxes me into a type of work I don't find any fulfillment in. Why bother looking for another administrative position if you have a deep hate for filing? The alternative I see is training for a different kind of work. Makes sense. I have been making strides this summer to take a class at MC in the fall. I have an appointment to meet with DSS this coming week. I hope by the end of next week to be signed up for English 101. This will be a great thing for me, but so very far where I need to go. I don't see myself taking more than one class at a time for the next two semesters. This means a whole year will pass and I won't have done more than put a small dent in my higher education. Don't get me wrong, I see just signing up for a class as a great achievement; this is scary stuff. All the same, I am not really being propelled into a better overall place in the short term. So what to do?
Again, advice, thoughts or suggestions are welcome.
Quote of the Day:
"If you can't return a favor, pass it on."
-Louise Brown
July 22, 2005
And The Secretary Makes 5
This week, no less than 5 people in my office, none of which I work with directly, have commented on my weight loss. What a great feeling. The amazing thing is that it took 50+ pounds for people to really start commenting.
People taking notice is kind of scary though. More people handing out compliments mean more people I have talked to about my eating plan. The more people who know about the plan, means more people who would notice if I gain it all back in a year. That is really what I am afraid of. In the end I will have put in the time, the effort and the money, but then will fail in the maintenance phase.
Keeping it off in the long run is the real challenge. A life time of good choices. Wow that sounds big!
In the meantime I will smile, say thank you (and mean it!). Then go mix another shake.
Posted by La at 12:52 PM | Comments (0)July 21, 2005
Grateful, Part 2
Help - Not always easy to find, but always appriciated. Be it assistance with making jam, finding out the next steps for going back to school or figuring out what is wrong with your car, we all need a little assistance sometimes. This will probably sound obvious, but the trick for me is asking specifically for the kind of help you need in the first place, and not giving up when you don't get the help want right away.
Sufficient Financial Resources - No I am not swimming in money. But I don't need to be. I have enough to cover all the things I need and a resonable percentage of the things I want. The tough part is hashing out the "wants" from the "needs". That said, I do realize how lucky I am that I don't have to struggle for the basics. Knowing those are covered leaves a little more space for the joys of life.
Quote of the Day:
Giles: Just not used to automatic transmission. I loathe this just sitting here, not contributing. No, no, no, it's just not working out.
Buffy: Giles, are you breaking up with your car?
Giles: Well, it did seduce me. All red and sporty.
Buffy: Little two-door tramp.
July 20, 2005
Grateful
I am a very fortunate person. There are more things, people and circumstances to be grateful for than I could ever count. However, I have been taking stock recently and here are a few things that have been on my mind.
Resources that Support a Healthy Lifestyle - I live in an area with abundant clean water and local foods. I am surrounded by green spaces, parks and trails. I live near a modern local gym that charges a reasonable rate. With health insurence, I have access to health professional that are able and willing aid me. In short, I don't have an excuse not to take good care of myself, which is a pretty great thing.
A Reliable Support System - I have friends and family I know I can depend on. I get to walk through lief knowing that no matter what happens, I would never have to be homeless, hungry or without resources in an emergency. There is always someone I can talk to if I need advise, help or a second opinion. Laughing or crying I always know I am not alone, that is what safety is.
Educational Opportunities - The metro area is bursting with educational institutions, museums, parks and venues for the arts.
I know I am overlooking lots of important aspects of life that make it worthwile and meaningful. I have a feeling there will be more entries on this top down the road.
Posted by La at 1:41 PM | Comments (0)July 15, 2005
Size Matters
I had heard a rumor that it exhisted. I hoped it was true. And then I found it.
http://link.toolbot.com/
This terrific little tool will take stupidly long urls and condense them into much smaller versions of themselves. Am I the last person on the internet to know about this tool? Very possibly. I am exicted nonetheless!
Posted by La at 9:18 AM | Comments (1)